The Clue-Writing Competition 2003

Managed by Robert Teuton

January 2003 PLUMAGE
1st 95pts Nick Smith - Mum goes topless in St Tropez beach display
2nd 70pts Ian Harper - Rook's covering pawn left undefended in the opening variation of game
3rd 51.5pts Wil Ransome - Am coming back in drag, wearing coat of purple feathers
4th 41pts Keith Long - Choice period finery
5th 38pts Rod Harling - On beach without, er, something that covers tits?
Runners Up
Malcolm Scott; Tony Percy; Judith Lindley, Bob Hammond, Eddie Halliwell, John Guiver, AJ Moore

February 2003 BELLY-TIMBER

1st.Clue 21.85 pts.Peter Brooksbank
Food bill met by, er . plastic?
2nd.Clue 56.71 ½ pts.Neil Talbott
What could make me ill and bitter by being starved of it?
3rd.Clue 51.57 ½ pts.John Tozer
The old fare's nearly trebled. Blimy, that's ridiculous!
4th.Clue 12.45 pts.Mark Goodliffe
Corporation doctor having row about old food
5th.Clue 25.37 pts.John Guiver
Food's ruined by timer bell

Runners Up: Kevin McDermid, Margaret Irvine, Derek Harrison, Doug Peterson

March 2003 FRANK
1st.Clue 30.63.5pts.Luciano Ward
Mark on envelope's beginning to fade..."PRIVATE", perhaps?
2nd.Clue 18.59.5pts.Paul Boorer
Folies' front line is quite explicit
3rd.Clue 41.42pts.Don Manley
Open row initiated by France's leader
4th.Clue 5.38pts.Judith Lindley
Bloke female put in order?
5th=.Clue 31.32pts.Neil Aspland
Mark's a now obsolete currency (as the Listener recognises)
5th=.Clue 54.32pts.Peter Cargill
With everything up front for real and no kidding!

Runners Up: Wil Ransome, Eddie Young, Nick Smith, Tony Percy, Mark Goodliffe

April 2003 EASTER EGG (Letters Latent)
1st...Clue 13...59pts...Peter Brooksbank - Feast doesn't start till chocaholic's present
2nd...Clue 23...56.5pts...Luciano Ward - It spells relief around the end of Lent -- chocolate at last...good...good!
3rd...Clue 12...49 pts...John Guiver - Faberge offering possibly the ultimate in consumer goods
4th...Clue 44...48 pts...Niall MacSweeney - Where Wise Men hailed from at one time bringing seasonal gift
5th...Clue 10...43 pts...Rosie Paquette - Doctors get eager for spring holiday treat

Runners Up: Rod Harling (Clue 43 - 39 pts), Leon Marzillier (Clue 20 - 29 pts), Doug Peterson (Clue 25 - 29 pts), Mark Goodliffe (Clue 40 - 27 pts), Judith Lindley (Clue 5 - 24 pts)

1st 45. Peter Shram 48.5pts - Yep, it'll stick plastic instantly
2nd 14. Edward Young 45pts - I spy Celt with kilt up - in a flash?
3rd 13. Paul Boorer 44pts - Get right away from sick type till after treatment
4th 7. Richard Saunders 43pts - Extremely punchy title - slick novel in racy style
5th 8. John Tozer 37.5pts - Fickle type? I'll stick fast

Runners-up: 25. Niall MacSweeney 37pts; 30. John Guiver 32.5pts; 26. Brenda Widger 23pts; 3. Oli Grant 22pts; 6. Ian Harper 21.5pts; 5. Judith Lindley 21pts

June 2003 TINGLE
1st Clue 43...80pt Nick Smiths - Sting needs some song-writing lessons
2nd Clue 6...55pts John Tozer - Be a bit stingy, putting money before happiness mostly
3rd Clue 36...49pts Clive Weatherley - Result of touching (if not gloved) live electric leads
4th Clue 57...45.5pts Chris P Robinson - Use this in correcting leak
5th Clue 16...40pts Mark Wrigley - Genital mutilation without a stinging sensation
Runners-up: 50. Chris Jeremy 34pts; 10. Stan Scott 30pts; 7. John Guiver 25pts; 8. Richard J Fletcher 21pts; 47. Edward Halliwell 21pts; 49. Margaret Irvine 21pts

July 2003 HONKY-TONK
1st Clue 13. - 93pts Richard Palmer - Establishment requiring white tie? - quite the reverse
2nd Clue 42 - 45.5pts John Tozer - Warning signal before profitability finally takes 100k dive
3rd Clue 37 - 42.5pts John Guiver - Such cheap entertainment with go-go dancing may be found in Hong Kong and Tokyo
4th Clue 6 - 42pts Peter Brooksbank - Bond's back! Vulgar white man with leading role in cheap entertainment
5th Clue 17 - 37pts Neil Aspland - Go-go dancing with this music in Hong Kong and Tokyo?
Runners Up - 20. Rosie Paquette 25.5pts - 47. Mike Warburton 23pts - 45. Edward Young 20pts - 25. Oli Grant 18pts

1st - 107.5pts - Eddie Young 30. My 'C' is in threadbare condition (hint!)
2nd - 100.5pts - Don Manley 25.It is handy rich red tome I cannot bin
3rd - 83pts - William Tunstall-Pedoe 26.It's nice, rich, handy, modern. Obtain it!
4th - 46.5pts - Mark Goodliffe 39.Reaches birthday in mint condition!
5th - 37pts - Nick Earl 28.Moira intends to read it inch by inch

Runners-up:12. Luciano Ward 35pts; 15. Jim Walker 31.5pts; 43. Wil Ransome 27pts; 42. Peter Brooksbank 26pts; 4. John Coward 24.5pts; 16. Paul Coulter 24pts

September 2003 PHWOAR
1st - Clue 34 - 72pts Judith Lindley - My! How little April has changed!
2nd - Clue 53 - 58.5pts John Tozer - Who's being exploited in standard male response to Page Three, say?
3rd - Clue 9 - 51pts John Guiver - Frontal bits of phenomenal women arouse this exclamation
4th - Clue17 - 43pts Ian Harper - How about entering share price in report on asset appreciation?
5th - Clue 52 - 41.5pts AJ Moore - Whoa! Fantastic pair all round

Runners-up: 22. Mark Goodliffe - 36pts; 23. Eddie Young - 34pts; 19. Richard Grafen - 29.5pts; 16. Niall MacSweeney - 25pts; 39. Tony Percy - 20pts

October 2003 TROUBLE-MAKER
1st...Clue 27...77pts...Dave Tilley - Mark out rebel, perhaps, as such?
2nd...Clue 25...41pts...R.E.Boot - Lolita for instance distracted maturer bloke
3rd...Clue 10...31pts...Mick Hodgkin - Destabilising influence of weak currency when invested in volatile market
4th=...Clue 17...27pts...Brian Douglas - He can be bolshy, resorting to blue remark
4th=...Clue 57...27pts...Nick Smith - Usurper who allows in chaotic mob rule?

Runners up...12. 25pts Brenda Widger; 34. 23pts John Guiver; 22. 20pts Dave Williams; 16. 19pts Eddie Young; 4. 18pts Len Levine; 6. 18pts Roland Rance; 54. 18pts James Mundungous.

November 2003 OLITORY
1st..Clue 36...62pts - Mark Oshin - Parsley? Control it or yard will be filled with it
2nd...Clue 1...57pts - John Guiver - A bed of lettuce? Try tossed with a bit of olive oil
3rd..Clue 4...46pts - Dave Howard - A kitchen garden with loo? I try to be cultivated
4th=...Clue 22...26pts - Dafydd Price Jones - I try loo out; I hear it's where leaks can develop
4th=...Clue 33...26pts - Ian Harper - Opening of Olympics illuminated by flashes of oranges, reds, yellows and greens

RUNNERS UP Clue 25...Paul Cardin; Clue 35...Peter Cargill; Clue 32...Don Manley; Clue 43...Paul Boorer; Clue 26...John Coward; Clue 29...Brenda Widger

1st...John Guiver...Clue 1...54pts
Hail victory and sound the bell
Whose duty lies to ring Noel

2nd...Chris Lear...Clue 29...36pts
Hail, th'ancient goodwill bell
Clued ye tidings this Noel

3rd...Ian Harper...Clue 16...34pts
Sad eye lit up, for Christmas time will show
How, maybe, goodwill can start to grow

4th...Roland Rance...Clue 10...33pts
Sounds like you'll bound this time of year
While hanging trees to bring good cheer

5th...R.E.Boot...Clue 18...26pts
With rank old bell, I wish you all the best
And mark this feast which truly I detest

Runners Up - Judith Lindley...Clue 12...22pts; Susan Veness...Clue 19...20pts; Richard Palmer...Clue 21...18pts; Nick Smith...Clue 27...18pts

Last year's results