AZED 2000
MUSICAL TRIBUTE – 25th September 2010
Behold our own
High Cruciverbalist. Words
by George McLean, to the
tune of Behold the Lord High Executioner
from The Mikado
Behold our own High
Cruciverbalist,
A personage of subtle wit and cunning.
A dignified yet mild Inquisitor
Whose puzzles are particularly stunning.
Defer, Defer, to our own
High Cruciverbalist,
Defer, Defer, and homage pay
To Crowther J.
The King of Cruciverbalists.
I am
the very model of a modern cruciverbalist. Words by Victor Dixon, to the tune of The
Major-General’s Song from The Pirates of
Penzance
I am the very
model of a modern cruciverbalist,
I know more plants and trees than any botanist or herbalist;
I often use the parts of ‘em (like panicle and pedicle),
And those of men and animals, both popular and medical.
I’m very well acquainted too with ev’ry kind of
–ology:
Bryology, mycology, ichthyology, cetology,
Nosology, pathology, and patent pharmacology
(pause)
Which means I’m never guilty of the tiniest cacology!
Which
means he’s never
guilty of the tiniest cacology!
Which means he’s never guilty of the tiniest cacology!
Which means he’s never guilty of the tiniest cacolo - cology!
I’m
learned on geology and also, by analogy,
Can name as many metals as are known to mineralogy;
I’m expert too on weapons, like your dudgeon or your arbalist,
So I’m the very model of the modern cruciverbalist!
An
expert too on weapons,
like your dudgeon or your arbalist,
he is the very model of the modern cruciverbalist!
(continued)
I know a list
of Christians who’ve been branded as heretical,
From Arius to Zwingli, in succession alphabetical;
I’m versed in other cultures, like Mohammedan and Mexican,
And terms from their vocabularies supplement my lexicon.
I love archaic English words, especially Shakespearean,
Including lots whose spellings are Miltonic or Spenserian
Plus many from the Scots or Australasian vernacular
(pause)
So my display of funny ones is really quite spectacular!
So
his display of funny ones
is really quite spectacular!
So his display of funny ones is really quite spectacular!
So his display of funny ones is really quite spectacu- tacular!
Some words I
use are very short, and some sesquipedalian,
but none you’ll find in Chambers is
too recondite or alien.
You might think some are hard to clue, but I’m the
imperturbablist,
So I’m the very model of a modern cruciverbablist!
We
might think some are hard
to clue, but he’s the imperturbablist,
He is the very model of a modern cruciverbablist!
My clues are
always witty, and the soul of wit is brevity;
They’re fair although misleading, with a frequent touch of levity;
Relying on our language’s semantic ambiguity,
They use all its resources with uncommon ingenuity.
They satisfy the most demanding kind of crossword maniac;
They’re super-intellectual like this month’s one to
BRAINIAC;
That’s why all fans of cryptics cry in chorus: ‘He, by
Jiminy’s (pause)
The greatest Grand Inquisitor the world has seen since Ximenes!
The
greatest Grand
Inquisitor the world has seen since Ximenes!
The greatest Grand Inquisitor the world has seen since Ximenes!
The greatest Grand Inquisitor the world has seen since Xime-ximenes!
Composing
puzzles ev’ry week for nearly eight quinquennia,
I’ve done what might be loosely called a couple of millennia.
So I’m the top of ev’rybody’s ‘Why buy The
Observer’ list,
For I’m the very model of the modern cruciverbalist!
So
he’s the top of
ev’rybody’s ‘Why buy The Observer’
list,
For he’s the very model of the modern cruciverbalist!
The
Competitor’s Lament. Words
by Dave Shenkin, to the tune of The Policeman’s Song from The Pirates of Penzance
When the time comes for
the
monthly competition (competition)
And the solver has to try and write a clue,
(write a clue)
The ordeal of creative composition (composition)
Results at last in just a clue to boo. (clue
to boo)
Contrast the productivity
of
Azed (-ty of Azed)
He effortlessly uses all the tricks, (all
the tricks)
When faced with fractious words he isn't fazèd: (isn't
fazèd)
Each week there's thirty-five or thirty-six
Ahh - when you
count the clues that make our weekly fix, weekly fix
They number thirty-five or thirty-six (thirty-six)
Azed,
Azed. Words by Chris
Edmunds, to
the tune Daisy Bell
Azed, Azed, give me the
answer do;
I’m half crazèd, stalled on your final clue.
Such cunning and style, in marriage
With wit, one can’t disparage...
But I’d feel sweet
Upon receipt
Of a nice little prize from you.
Azed, Azed, give me your
answer do;
Have I phrasèd the words of a winning clue?
Are all my ideas in wedlock
Or have I reached a deadlock?
Cos I’d feel sweet
Upon receipt
Of a nice little cup from you.